


The Tragedy of a Hero

by cracklesnaple



Series: the fall of a hero [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Panic Attacks, Running Away, Sad, Self-Worth Issues, Spoilers, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Vomiting, a little bit of, based on their streams from the 29th, but its not detailed or anything, dont mind me just adding tags i forgot, take of that what you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27822904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cracklesnaple/pseuds/cracklesnaple
Summary: After the threat of being exiled or forced to give up his discs, Tommy makes the decision for himself. It seemed his brothers were right about their nation.(technically a sequel to 'It's My Fault, I Know I'm Selfish,' but can be read as a stand-alone)
Relationships: none thats nasty
Series: the fall of a hero [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036035
Comments: 29
Kudos: 709





	The Tragedy of a Hero

**Author's Note:**

> [playlist for the fic ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4zcWofQLfmQDQ2lYklN8RU?si=qyXiBndGQsmfeXR5ng1Uvw)

_“Tommy, be quiet."_

_"You’ve done enough damage.”_

_"Fine, if you don’t want to exile him, give me the disk.”_

_"You're stripped of your vice president for two weeks and you have to report to Fundy at the end of every day.”_

_“You’re a liability.”_

_“Tommy, shut up.”_

_“Be quiet”_

_“_ _The thing about this world, Tommy, is that good things don’t happen to heroes. Let me tell you a story, Tommy. A story about a man called Theseus. His city state was in danger and he sent himself forward into enemy lines. He slayed the Minotaur and saved his city. And you know what they did to him, Tommy? “They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. That’s what happens to heroes, Tommy.”_

He should’ve listened. Creator above, he was an idiot for not listening to his brother- brothers. From the moment he and Wilbur set foot in the newly made Pogtopia Tommy had been warned of traitors, told not to trust anybody except themselves. Watching Wilbur fall deeper into the pit of his own insanity had been the hardest thing to deal with during that time, the only saving grace was Technoblade’s presence. Sure, the man wasn’t around the ravine they had made their home a lot, but he was there when they needed him and vice versa. That was more than Tommy could say for the rest of the people that now reside in New L’Manburg. Tommy could count the number of times he saw Tubbo during their exile on one hand. He tried not to get hung up about that though, he knew his best friend had the heavy task of being a spy and was constantly playing double agent. Even knowing that, he couldn’t help but feel abandoned and lonely.

Those feelings only got worse after Wilbur blew up their nation, after one of his brothers died in front of him by their father’s hands and then his other brother betrayed him and their entire cause because they wanted some goddamned stability in their lives after a year of constant war. Tommy feels like he doesn’t get the right to feel lonely but he does, and that makes guilt and self-hatred come out of the pit of his mind he had buried them in long ago. The young boy was ecstatic to see his father after three years of being separated, but he couldn’t help but notice the way Phil’s eyes wandered whenever he thought Tommy wasn’t paying attention. Wandered and searched for a body he would no longer find on these lands. He pointed his father towards Techno’s old place, hoping the man was able to find his eldest brother so he wasn’t alone. Despite what he said, his brother didn’t handle being alone very well. It probably had something to do with being abandoned in the Nether at a young age before Phil found it, but he wasn’t sure.

Tommy watched from the sidelines as his best friend, the only family he had left- ghost Wilbur didn’t count, not yet, he could barely remember their family- slowly drift away from him. On the days where he was able to get out of bed without too much of a struggle, without the memories and phantom pains weighing him down, he would run to the boy, suggest something chaotic and fun to do for the day, only to be struck down without a thought.

 _“I’m the president now, Tommy,”_ he’d said. _“I can’t just drop all my responsibilities just because you want me to.”_

He’d nod, fake an obnoxious laugh as if the hope that was finally starting to return to his mind after the battle did crumble and fade at the words. As if he didn’t put up more walls around his heart, already torn and shredded with betrayal and abandonment, didn’t start to think that maybe, just maybe, his brothers were right.

 _“Of course, Big Man!”_ he replied, as if his world wasn’t turning on its head for the hundredth time. _“Let me know if you need help with anything!”_ Only to get shooed off like an annoying fly. The weight on his shoulders tripled by the time he was back home- not home, not home, just a house, he didn’t have a home anymore- and the sense of freedom he felt waking up that morning quickly turned into the suffocating feeling of being imprisoned. He tried to block out the memories of Pogtopia, of the suffocating days spent between claustrophobic walls desperately trying to work with the little they had to live off of, shoved the memory of being trapped in a wall, the redstone piston pushing against his leg so hard that one wrong move would slice to bone. Tommy curled into his bed, hands covering his ears, doing his best to block out the sounds of Wilbur and Tubbo’s mocking laughs before being forced to listen to their retreating footsteps. If there was one lesson that got reiterated after that incident, it was that he truly couldn’t trust anyone, that he only had himself to rely on.

He hid his spiral from that incident. Hid the scar on his leg that would forever mark the day he truly understood the hopelessness of abandonment. Didn’t let his brothers see the way he’d flinch whenever Wilbur laughed one of his unhinged laughs. Tommy knew how to take care of himself, contrary to popular belief, he’d’ been doing it since he was too young to remember. From a time before he could truly feel the effects of his parents abandoning him in a strange world.

That’s where he was now, laying in his bed, trapped in spiraling thoughts and a dying passion. He barely had the energy to cry, tears fell in short bursts and covered his arms. There was no one around him, thankfully, everyone else too busy doing restoration shit to worry about a bothersome child.

 _You should be busy too._ He thought, but there isn’t enough energy left in his muscles to even wipe the tears away from his face. It feels as if the entire world itself was pushing down on him, hoping that he’d be crushed from the force of it at any minute. A dark part of Tommy’s mind knew he wouldn’t stop it, didn’t care that he was on his last life in this world. At this point, he’d do anything to have even a moment of peace.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do now. Tommy had no one to turn to, no one who truly cared for him any longer, he knew that for sure. The way the entire cabinet and Tubbo the president didn’t hesitate to blame Tommy for the new walls around the nation told the boy that. Showed him that everyone he thought he loved, he thought was his family, took the word of a tyrant over his word. There was no longer anyone he could truly trust in the world now. One of his brother’s borderline verbally abused him for five months then blew up the nation Tommy had given up everything for - given up a life for, the other one didn’t hesitate to kill him the moment he didn’t agree with the situation, and he hadn’t seen his father since he’d been granted access to Dream’s land.

_“Fine, if you don’t want to exile him, give me the disk.”_

Dream’s words refused to leave Tommy’s mind. Neither choice was a good one, but the fact that he truly didn’t know which one Tubbo would choose made it even worse. Those discs were the only important things he had left in his life and he had given one to Tubbo because he thought he could trust the other boy. Just the thought of his best friend giving away the last thing he had to hold onto made him gag. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, willing himself to breathe through the rise of nausea he felt.

Tommy had carried those discs with him when he and Wilbur left home in search for an adventure. They were the embodiment of their family before the world went to shit and Tommy didn’t think he could bear losing them again, especially to the person that had ripped his family apart in the first place.

He ran to the bathroom, slamming onto his knees just in time to be sick. No no no nonononono. Tommy couldn’t think about that. If his discs were gone he’d lose his grasp on the few years where he felt safe and loved. Breaths shuddered past trembling lips and he’s desperately trying to force the tears down because he knows once he lets them go, they won’t stop. He flushed the toilet absentmindedly before laying on the floor, his head resting on the cold cobblestone floor. Sobs wrench their way through and he’s trembling on the bathroom floor, wishing that someone would show him he wasn’t alone.

Tommy laid on the floor for what felt like hours until his sobs finally ran out and his breaths evened. The boy stared blankly in front of him, red tear tracks marred his face and deep blue bags were present under his eyes. Nobody came to check on him, to see if he was alright after the remaining people he cared about had betrayed him. He tried to be surprised, but he knew he wasn’t. His parents threw him out, Wilbur and Techno had barely put up with him and now one was dead and the other was who knows where, his father cared more about his other sons to even check up on him and his best friend was willing to bend to a tyrant rather than take his side. Tommy wasn’t sure why he even bothered anymore. The result would always be the same, he guessed. Everyone always left or had someone more important than the annoying gremlin child he was.

_They’re going to exile me. Again._

He knew this without a doubt now. Tommy knew that Tubbo would see that as the less extreme option since he knew what the discs mean to the boy- though he apparently didn’t care that much to even consider it. Maybe it was wishful thinking that Tubbo would try to negotiate a time period for Tommy’s exile, but he knew, even if his sentence was only a couple months, he’d never return to L’Manburg again. He had given lives for his nation but it seemed it simply didn’t want him anymore. Logically, Tommy knew Dream had the upper hand in this affair. Dream and his allies had the gear, the talent, and the passion for chaos that the man himself had. L’Manburg didn’t have a chance against them, didn’t before and probably never would. The boy knew that the president would do whatever it took to make sure the nation was safe, because that was his duty now. Tubbo had been gifted the nation, told to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, and Tommy knew he took that responsibility seriously.

If they were going to exile him anyways, he might as well just leave. It would save the president- of everyone- having to deal with him, and it would spare Tommy himself the humiliation that would come with going to that meeting. He saw how everyone reacted to his trial, the mocking pity and uncaring ridicule that showed how everyone around him didn’t care they were essentially sentencing a sixteen year old to death. How they treated his life like a joke.

Tommy sat up, leaning against the wall until his head stopped spinning, and knew his mind was made up. He’d leave before they could exile him. He’d go tonight. Struggling to his feet, he wiped the wetness from his face and made his way into his bedroom. Trifling through his chests, he found an intact shoulder bag, big enough for him to fit essentials in. Tommy grabbed a few sets of clothes, Wilbur’s old winter coat he wore in Pogtopia, enough potatoes and carrots to last him a few months if he rationed right, and his Ender Chest filled with his valuables. He thanked the Creator for making the magical chests super light, though they were often awkward to carry. If Tommy had to guess, the chests were so light because of their Endermen components but he didn’t know for sure. Phil would.

The boy shook his head, ridding the thoughts of his family from his mind. The memories would only slow him down and he had to concentrate if he wanted to get away without anyone seeing him. He strapped his netherite sword to the holster on his belt and took one last look at his most recent house. There were no sentimental thoughts, though that didn’t surprise him, and he quickly made his way out of the building. As he crept out of his house, making sure no one else was up working in the night. Soft orange light from the floating lanterns spilled onto the platform that held his house and Tommy made sure to keep to the lesser lit areas- an easy feat seeing as his dad was the only one who made an effort to keep their nation safe from mobs.

He was halfway across the pier, about to steal a boat that was docked on its side, when a voice spoke from behind him.

“Tommy? Where’re you going?” The boy startled and stumbled around. It was hard to see on the pier since there was barely any lighting around, but Tommy would know the face of his- dead- brother anywhere. The ghost’s face seemed greyer than usual and Tommy shifted from the blank eyed stare his brother gave him.

“Wilbur?” Tommy asked, voice hushed as he glanced around to make sure no one else was near. “What’re you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in your sewers?”

“First of all,” his brother started, looking affronted. “That was uncalled for. And second, I’m a ghost, I can do whatever I want. Now, why are you here?” He glanced at the bag on his shoulder. “And why do you have all that with you?”

Tommy fidgeted uncomfortably, tapping his fingers against the leg of his trousers. He wanted to tell Wilbur, Creator above he wanted someone to know where he was going and why, but he also knew he couldn’t trust the ghost. Tommy didn’t know where his loyalties lied, with their family or the nation, but both weren’t risks he was willing to take. If he told Wilbur, he’d definitely tell Phil and he would probably tell Tubbo and Tommy wouldn’t have been able to get far enough away by that time.

“I’m making a choice,” he said instead, trying to ignore Wilbur’s look of confusion. “Because everything else has been taken from me.” Tommy set his bag down in the smallest boat on the pier before jumping in himself. Before the boy could untangle the ropes, he felt cold air hit his hands.

“What are you doing, Tommy?” Wilbur’s voice shook and he ignored the sting it caused his heart. “I’m serious, Toms. Please tell me you’re not making a decision you’ll regret.”

Tommy laughed bitterly and shook his head. “The only thing I’d regret would be staying. They don’t want me here, Wil, none of them do. It’s better for L’Manburg if I leave before I mess it up again.”

Wilbur was shaking his head, face twisted desperately. “You can’t just leave, Tommy! There’s so much more to do! You’re the Vice President for the Creator’s sake! What would everyone think if you just disappeared?”

“I’m not vp anymore,” he whispered and it was the first time he admitted it to himself. It seemed his fate with the government was to be the failed vice president. First under Wilbur and now under Tubbo. Maybe Technoblade was right when he claimed the government wasn’t good.

“What? What do you mean? How could you not be vp anymore?”

“I played dumb a prank on George and everyone fucking blew it out of proportion,” he answered, twisting the rope harshly in his hands until he feels the sting of rope burn. “I got put on trial, almost died, was stripped of my title under the claim of “probation,”’ Tommy said the words in quotation marks, knowing that it was never going to be for a limited time. “They said I’d have to report to Fundy at the end of every day, but Dream said that wasn’t enough. He said Tubbo would either have to exile me or give Dream one of my discs. Both options are shit.”

Wilbur stood silent for a few moments and Tommy wanted nothing more than to just leave. To ride off far away so no one in these cursed lands could find him any longer. “So you’re just leaving?”

Tommy shrugged. “Dream gave Tubbo until the 2nd to make his decision but either way I lose, so I’m picking for myself. It’s not like it matters,” he chuckled mirthlessly. “No one will miss me. I’m surprised you’re still here, honestly.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means what it means, Wilbur,” he sighed. “I know you don’t remember a lot, but you gave up on me a long time ago and everyone else has followed. I just want to leave before I lose my last life to a nation full of people that don’t want me.”

“That’s not true,” the ghost whispered, sounding horribly heartbroken. “I wouldn’t do that, you’re my baby brother. And your Tubbo’s best friend. He wouldn’t exile you."

“Our family hasn’t been whole for a while, Wilbur, and Tubbo has the nation to worry about, he can’t risk another war with Dream.”

“But you can’t leave! I already lost Technoblade, I can’t lose you too,” Tommy’s eyes burn at his brother’s words and he’s forced to blink away tears.

“Stick with Dad and you’ll find him,” he said and ignored the cracking of his voice. “You guys were happier before I came along, anyways. Go back to being happy, Wil, you deserve it.”

“Let me go with you,” Wilbur demands and floats closer to the boat but Tommy was already shaking his head.

“You still have so much to remember, I can’t take that away from you,” he paused and took a breath. “I’ll see you again, some day, I promise.”

“You promise?” Wilbur’s voice sounded horribly small and Tommy felt awful for making his brother this upset. He nodded, holding out his pinky finger and, even though Wilbur couldn’t physically touch him, the man curls his pinky against him in a mockery of their promise. “I love you.”

“I love you too, big bro. Take care of them for me.” His brother nodded.

“Stay safe. For me.”

“Of course, safe is my middle name!” he tried to joke but Wilbur only lets out a wet chuckle and Tommy takes that as his queue to leave. Once he unwound the rope from the pier and pushed off the dock, he called up to his brother. “If you have to tell someone I left, give me a bit of a head start, would ‘ya?” He got a nod in response and Tommy turned around and took off in the boat, ready to get away from the nation that caused him so much grief.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting so I hope it's not too messed up, let me know if there are any glaringly obvious mistakes in the comments! also, let me know if you guys would want song ideas for each oneshot in the series, because i'm willing to do that! <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/cracklesnapple1)


End file.
